A few words about travelling in Islamic countries or on the Indian subcontinent
  
         
    Not understanding a foreign culture is a bad starting point from where to judge it. Everything might be very different from what you're used to, but this doesn't mean that it's in any way inferior or even wrong! We mustn't single out certain customs, but see them in the context of the culture they're a part of. It doesn't work to compare single habits or customs with those of wherever you come from; if you want to compare, then compare the entire cultures, with all their positive and negative sides. Notice where people is happier and more relaxed, where children are more cherished. where people suffer less from stress and have more time for family and friends. And where you see more smiling faces.  
       
       
    If you're mainly looking for romantic adventure, choose some other destination, like maybe South America. But if you want to meet fascinating people with a rich background of thousands of years of culture, if you're interested in history, ethnology, architecture, customs, philosophy or religions, Northern Africa, the Middle East and the whole Indian subcontinent are your perfect treasure trove.
  
       
       
    In Islamic countries, men and women don't mix the way they do in the West. Men work outside the home and are responsible for getting food on the table, while the responsibility of women generally is the household and the rearing of the children. Socially the two genders traditionally don't mix much. Men go out with their buddies, and women spend their time among themselves, which doesn't exclude a fair amount of dancing, singing and merrymaking. Many women go veiled, wear a chador or a burka to maintain their privacy and dignity when they're in public. If you need some information in the streets, on a bus or train, best ask somebody of your own gender.  
         
         
   
Some advice for female travellers
    
         
    Properly dressed, women are very much respected in Islamic countries, and it is good advice for any female visitor to Pakistan to wear wide clothing that conceals the shape of the body. Covering the head with a shawl is not a bad idea either; though not mandatory, it helps if you want to be treated with respect and not get gawked at, especially in places where foreigners are seldom seen.    
         
    Even more important for female visitors to Pakistan, and most countries in Asia, the Middle East and Northern Africa, never look a man boldly in the eye. Unlike in western societies, where it is the most natural things to do, where we even were admonished as small tots to do so when talking with adults, in Oriental culture it denotes wantonness. When passing a man, never look him in the face, but rather look straight ahead. You still can watch whatever you want out of the corner of the eye, it's a technique that just takes some time to get used too. After living in Oriental countries for a big part of my life, even when in Europe, I keep this habit, and it serves me fine. I can walk unmolested anywhere, even at night in a really bad area. It makes me somewhat invisible.    
         
    If you have some business with a man, like buying something or whatever, try to look at him in a vague, unfocused kind of way, never let your eyes convey intensity, intimacy or any interest in him as a male. When living in India, I was embarassed so often by thoughtless female Western friends that I began to avoid and even fear their company when walking about or doing some shopping. Those chicks would stare at shop keepers, start stupid conversations and even occactionally grab the guys by their forearms or hands. You can just about compare that to grabbing a man by his privates here in Europe.    
         
    As a woman on your own, you shouldn't accept invitations by local men. When talking to a man, be as reserved as possible. Don't try to show how 'free' and 'uninhibited' you are, the impression you will create will be exactly the opposite of what you hoped for. There is no way you can have a brief and fleeting adventure with some traditional Muslim (or Hindu, for that matter) without him thinking the worst of you. You just can't expect him to understand that you might come from a culture where it is not uncommon for a single woman to have intimate relations with any man that attracts her fancy. The object of your desire will possibly feel flattered by your attention, and jump at the chance of getting involved with you. But no matter how attractive and sweet he is, forget it, 'cause if you're willing, he'll think you're some kind of a tramp and treat you accordingly as soon as he got what he wanted from you. Those hot glances he directs at you by no means signify that he's in love with you. Forget any such foolish romantic notions. What it means for sure is that, if you'd have behaved like any decent woman in these parts does in the first place, you'd never even noticed his eyes on you, 'cause you'd have kept your own eyes downcast. For the guy, being able to have intensive eye contact with you means you're just some cheap slut. It's as simple as that.    
         
    Local women very rarely, if at all, travel alone. If you do, people will ask you where your husband is. If you tell them that you have no husband, they might get wrong ideas. So if you are single, it is sometimes better to invent a husband who, unfortunatly and due to some adverse turn of fate or call of duty, can't be with you at the moment. Otherwise you might get utterly misunderstood, taken for a "loose" woman and maybe even molested. If you travel with your boyfriend, say it's your husband, because people might not understand that you could be a decent lady and live together with a man without being married. These are "white" lies that won't harm anybody and might save you a lot of trouble. When unsure of how to act, use your common sense. Say, you travel first class and share some space with a well educated man who speaks fluent English, has lived abroad, understands Western culture and tries to start a conversation with you. There's no need to pull your veil over your face and play mute. Talk with him about topics like his or your country, his or your kids and family, but avoid certain subjects, especially anything related to sex or relationships, and don't forget to mention your husband from time to time. If it seems that conversational partner has got more than the permissible interest in conversing with you, defuse the situation by adressing him as "brother" or "uncle". This allusion should kickstart his sense of duty and protectiveness towards any female "family" member, family in this case being the whole of humankind, and bring him back to reality.    
         
         
   
For male travellers things are somewhat less complicated
    
         
    Just don't talk to any woman, except when it is in the line of her job to talk with you, like working at the post office or some other counter. A simple local woman will usually feel very bad when accosted by a stranger. By talking to some unknown young woman, you might get her into real serious trouble. Generally as a man you should avoid looking directly at native ladies. To repeat what I've said above: It is utterly improper and very offensive to search eye contact with somebody not of your own sex.    
         
    As to dress code, wear your ordinary everyday clothes, just look to it that they are not tight fitting, but rather loose. In some places short trousers are considered indecent.    
         
    In small hotels or inns, rickshaws, taxis and local restaurants, it is up to you to make the necessary arrangements. It would strike locals as very unusual if your wife or girlfriend would take the initiative, with you looking on. In international hotels employees of course are used to the "strange" customs of foreign guests.    
         
         
   
General
    
         
    Don't get the idea that Muslim women are poor, underpriviledged and opressed creatures at the mercy of vile men and deserving your pity. Those women might actually pity women living in Western countries for having to go to work besides looking after the kids and the household, and for often looking rather haggard and ungainly, having lost much of their feminine characteristics on the road to 'liberation'.
The most impressive women I have ever met so far on my travels actually were Arab Muslimas, in the Middle Eastern countries way back when fundamentalism wasn't rampant. They were radiantly beautiful, strong and confident, and not at all in awe of their manfolk. Of course, there are all kinds of Islamic countries and societies, as much as is the case with different Christian countries. In Afghanistan under Taliban rule, women, and the population as a whole, were indeed treated terribly. 		   
         
    If you're invited to eat at a private home, you can expect your hosts to make great efforts on your behalf, even if they are very poor and can't actually afford it. To try to give them some money as a recompensation for their expenses would be one of the greatest insults possible. It's not expected of you to bring anything along really, but it's not a bad idea to have some small souvenirs from your own country with you for such occasions, like for example a calendar with pictures. If you bring sweets from your home place, they will be pappreciated, but might be judged as not being sweet enough. This happened occasionally to me, though by no means always.
If you are a single male traveller, depending on the place you are and the habits of your hosts, it might happen that you'll eat solely in male company. If that is the case, it would be very impolite to ask about meeting the female family members, even if you only want to compliment your host's wife on her excellent cooking. Just compliment the host, he'll tell the wife later. Nowadays you will often be able to eat with the entire family, but never forget that this doesn't mean that you can talk as freely with the ladies as you would back home. Talk to the menfolk mainly, and if you do adress a woman, don't give her any intensive stares, no matter how beautiful she is. Any attempts at flirting are strictly out of the question, it would be about the equivalent of grabbing the behind of your dinner host's wife back home.
Also keep in mind that the left hand is considered impure, it's the hand used by everybody to clean themselves on the toilet. Local and family customs vary, and I've often seen Muslims using both hands to tear off a piece of bread, but you're on the safer side if you touch food only with your right hand. If you're lefthanded, tough luck.
Something else, if you overly admire some items in your host's home, he might feel obliged to give them to you, so just go easy there. Be attentive and use your common sense, and you'll not only spend an unforgettable evening, but you'll also leave a good impression. 		   
         
    Muslims take their religion very serious, so please respect their feelings and beliefs. If you're a Christian, don't forget that "Allah" is not the God of the Muslims, but just means God in Arabic. For a Muslim, the notion of more than one God it inconceivable, and it's perfectly clear to him that the God of the Christians is no other God than the one he calls "Allah". Arab Christians and Arab Jews employ the same expression as well. Western Christians sometimes have a problem with this, only too often I've read in otherwise serious news magazines allusions to "the Muslims and their God, Allah", indicating "Allah" as being solely the God of Muslims. Such stupidity or lack of education is rather embarassing.    
         
   

In my travelling years, I've made many mistakes, minor and major ones, without even noticing. One of the minor ones: Around 1977 we lived in India near Mehrauli, at the outskirts of Delhi, for a couple of months. Most mornings I'd go to the Mehrauli street market, my little daughter tied to my back, to get the groceries, though at times my ex-husband came along as well.
There was an Italian couple staying at the same Ashram as we did, and sometimes we used to cook together. Once the Italian guy came along for the vegetables we'd be cooking later. Next day I went back to the market alone, and to my great astonishment found the vegetable vendors totally upset by the fact that I'd been shopping for tomatoes with a man that was neither my husband nor any other relative. "You can't do that", they admonished me, "this is very bad."